Resilience to me is a product of showing up for ourselves and whatever is happening, however undesirable it may be. And, in so doing, becoming a deeper true or version of ourselves – use whatever is happening to self support rather than self abandon.  Rather than numbing (food, sex, alcohol, stimulus/accomplishment, etc) and creating separation from our values and most authentic self, we could feel what there is to feel, learn what there is to learn and find the silver lining in all of it. 

And, in moving on from the acute phase of managing whatever happened, continue showing up to yourself. Cultivate a supportive and constructive inner monologue. Journal. Find and exploit the silver linings. Take action to ensure post traumatic growth. Yes, that’s a thing! 

Specifically, these are the tactics I use to cultivate resilience over and over again . . .

1.  Use the challenge to skills ratio.  Find that sweet spot between boredom and anxiety – don’t go straight back in right away, but rather ease back into the activity/challenge little by little . . . only 4% at a time.  
2. Consider recovery from a nervous system perspective.  We think of recovery, generally, in the purely physical sense.  We recover from workouts, perhaps from travel, and from sickness.  But what about recovering your nervous system?  What about realizing when you’ve been maxed out, overstimulated (or under!), stressed, etc. and thinking of recovery from a nervous system perspective.  Know your neuromodulators, especially serotonin and dopamine, and understand what it takes to keep those systems healthy!
3. Consider giving yourself an invitation versus an expectation. Keep the pressure low and reduce your cognitive load to help drop into flow . . . rather than saying at the outset, “I’m going to do X, Y, Z” say “I invite myself to do X, Y, Z” . . . it’s a subtle nuance that helps do the hard thing with a lot less stress and self-imposed pressure!
4. Let it all be there. So much can come up. Practice greeting it with curiosity and wondering what your reaction is trying to teach you rather than judging whatever comes up. Remember, the goal is to be a deeper truer version of yourself and your triggers are a tool to chart the paths of that outcome. Judgment and numbing at this stage will also lead you away from yourself.
5. Choose the support of friends and partners or go alone until you’re ready. Whatever helps reduce your particular cognitive load.

Regardless of what you’re moving through, you’ve got this! And, if you’d like support feel free to reach out! I’d love to hop on a call! It took a TBI and three weeks on the couch to get clarity on my future and what I needed to transition to. Coaching would’ve been way easier!